Another one of my favorite dog
park people is the know-it-all. These are the people that, especially if you
have a puppy, like to tell you all the ways you are doing things wrong.
Generally I wouldn’t mind a little helpful advice if someone saw me struggling,
however the advice they give is either totally the wrong thing to do, or
involves some radical supplement, doggy acupuncture or water boarding.
After Dalton had all his shots we
started taking him to Memory Grove to mix things up. There we encountered the “unwanted
advice lady.” Every time we ran into her, she always had something to say about
how we were doing things, and how everything we did was going to make him a
terrible dog. The worst part about her is that she is this obnoxious mix
between know-it-all, anti-pit, and rescue
snob. I think she has a place in hell down the block from every serial killer
that ever lived.
Anyway, when we were “off leash”
training Dalton, we would have him on a 50 foot lead attached to his harness
and let him run around willy-nilly. We found it much easier to get within fifty feet
than five, so we figured it was a good compromise, he could have some freedom, and
we could catch him. Unwanted advice lady thought that it was all wrong though,
she would say things like: “Now is the perfect time to start off leash
training, when I rescued Biscuit and Muffin, I would let them off leash from
day one. They have never run away, and I think it’s because I am magic, and have hands that smell like chicken livers. You shouldn’t need that big leash; he will totally come back if you just
call him. I know everything because I rescued my dogs, and that practically makes me Jesus.... ”
(please note, that the above is not a direct quote.)
Well Miss unwanted advice lady, (I
am assuming its Miss, because I can’t think of anyone who would want to be in
her company for any substantial amount of time) you have obviously never tried
to raise a husky. And your dogs are stupid. They are smaller than most cats,
and should probably be considered rodents, not dogs…. So there…
The end.
(please note, that the above is not a direct quote.)
ReplyDeleteSo glad you clarified. :) And I love how you ended this post. I kind of imagined a foot stomp to go along with the "So there".
Well, I didn't want to misquote her or anything. That would be rude. :)
ReplyDelete